Pearls of Wisdom

By Edward Fays

 

What’s the best part about getting older?  During my two years of interviewing seniors, the best answer I ever heard was, “I know so much about life and how to live it well, that I’ve got some wonderful knowledge to share with the youngsters in the world.  You know, from little kids all the way up to people in their fifties and sixties.” 

 

I laughed uproariously at the candid remarks of Ralph Anderson and his genuine desire to share his knowledge and experiences with others.  Sitting across from him at an out of the way coffee shop, my arms resting on a wobbly wooden table Ralph’s words and pleasant demeanor allowed me to fully enter his world.  The place was deserted and Ralph’s vivid words and quirky facial expressions drew me in.  Since he admitted knowing much about life I posed my next question  – “What decisions have you made that most profoundly impacted your life.”  That was my favorite question.  Its one happy people like to answer and it’s one that younger generations like to have answered.  It gives people of all ages and backgrounds a little insight into how they too can make the decisions that lead to a happy and fulfilling life.  Most people think that if someone is happy later in life than they must have done a series of things throughout their life that led to their feeling of satisfaction.    

 

Ralph rubbed his chin as he pondered my question and with a sentimental smile on his face began chatting about his grandfather. 

 

“My grandpa was the first Ralph in our family,” he stated proudly  “Grandpa worked on the railways between Kansas City and Chicago during the 1860’s, when Lincoln was President.” 

 

Ralph said that his grandpa told him there were three immutable laws to follow if you want to go through life with a smile on your face.  Respect others, work hard, and always know a few good jokes because there’s no better way to get people on your side than to make them laugh. 

 

As the waitress refilled our coffee cups, Ralph got a nostalgic look in his eye and said, “The best decision I ever made was asking my wife, Gloria to be my bride.  I thought my life was complete the day we married but that decision eventually blessed me with four children and seven grandchildren with an eighth one on the way.  That’s how you know that you’ve lived a charmed life.  If you have the love of your family.” 

 

Ralph gently patted my hand and said, “It doesn’t matter how old you are, all that matters is what you feel inside.  If there’s one bit of wisdom I would impart to young parents, ambitious kids starting their careers or even people my age, it’s to make a list of the things you’re thankful for every day.  Don’t repeat the same things each day.  Think of a few new ones and add them to your list.  If you think of just a few things you’re thankful for each day you’ll be amazed and grateful for how much you have in this world.”   

                                                                 

Spontaneously, Ralph’s friend Jerry meandered into the café.  Clad in checkered pants, white sneakers and a faded Yankee baseball cap he looked like the spitting image of George Burns playing God in the move “Oh God.”  Jerry tapped Ralph on the shoulder with a perfectly folded newspaper and in a crackling voice said, “Five minutes – meaning, finish up your conversation and meet me at “our table” for coffee. 

 

As Jerry sluggishly waddled away, Ralph chuckled and said, “Jerry’s a dear friend but he’s a little cynical.  In addition to not having a ‘thankful list,’ he’s been paying alimony for thirty-five years.” 

 

Ralph looked at me and declared, “That’s all I’ve got to tell you kid.  I’m eighty-three and always learning new things so give me a call in a few weeks.  I’m bound to have something new to share with you by that time. But let me leave you with this, it’s a quote I heard years ago…

 

What we share…we keep…for it is in sharing that we are enriched...

What we keep…we lose…for in keeping we are limited to ourselves…

And in the end…all that we are…is what we have shared…

 

I gently shook Ralph’s hand and thanked him for sharing his thoughts.  He winked at me, strolled over to "their table” and flopped down into a seat across from Jerry, ready to begin a new conversation with a fresh cup of coffee.  I sat back down and began my “thankful list.”  My first entry: having the opportunity to meet Ralph, and gleam just a little bit of his wisdom.  

 

Edward Fays has spent the past two years interviewing grandparents in an effort to gather their wisdom and unique experiences.  He is compiling the most eclectic array of insights and stories into a book designed to enlighten people of all ages.  He can be reached at

415-507-9975 or edwardfays@yahoo.com.